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The Four Agreements:
A Practical Guide
to Personal Freedomby Don Miguel Ruiz |
The author has created of series of self-help books based on ancient Mexican Toltec wisdom and spiritual practices. In this book, he claims that reality is a collective dream state and
Dream of the Planet is an accepted societal culture. With this in mind, he proposes four ideas that if followed will help you live a happy and peaceful life:
- Agreement One: Be impeccable with your word
- Agreement Two: Don’t take anything personally
- Agreement Three: Don’t make assumptions
- Agreement Four: Always do your best
This book was highly recommended to me so I wanted to give it a fair chance. There are aspects that I found very important and useful and others I had to let go.
One example of this first agreement,
be impeccable with your word, is that the Toltec are a spiritual people and words are very powerful. They feel that they carry magical power, an aspect that I let go. He also says that words have impact on our lives by influencing our minds when heard out loud. The idea that words can poison our minds or encourage us is an idea I can accept; also, the exhortation to choose our words very carefully is one I can accept.
Not taking anything personally was an agreement that takes some getting use to. The main point with this agreement is to keep in mind the context of any communication. When someone speaks to us it always comes with a motivation; that motivation has nothing to do with us. The speaker’s communication is influenced by their own emotional and mental state: they may be happy, sad, angry, or just not feeling well that day. Those feelings influence their communication and have nothing to do with our value as a person, so we should not take what they say personally.
Don’t make assumptions is a good agreement to live by. Many misunderstandings, conflicts, and hurt feelings can be avoided by simply asking questions.
Always do your best is the agreement not to be mistaken for being perfect. Instead it is a way to avoid regret. A core theme of his teaching is to be patient and forgiving with yourself and other people. If we are accepting of others and do the best we can we can live the happy and peaceful life.
Reviewed by Dorie